These lessons learned are never discarded , i will replay each scene and critique my performance as the harshest opinion caster . These two years have past and i have aged disproportionately , i am grayer to whiter of remaining hairs , lines are deeply etched into hollow cheeks and my cadaverous physique , i can’t help but recall how ‘Cute’ i was in high school . Cute ? I’ve got higher mileage than a 55 Chevy, the callouses and sore feet to tell the tale . So What ? It is the natural unfolding and unfailing continuance of the journey to Narnia , Nirvana , Nantucket and New Jersey .
Now , i must move again , this is my last day in my newest domicile as a senior citizen in a Senior’s residence . Thank God i am getting thrown the hell out of here . I met a 25 year old guy at the Wawa. As we chatted and he reminded me of my eternal understanding of youth , i am an ancient soul but i am younger than yesterday on this planet and grateful for every day that’s been given to me .
On Friday August 3 i get another kick to the curb with my two dogs . Where to go , i don’t know . The Times and Seasons have changed everyone around , nobody knows me or would rather not know me now . I am persona non grata , i contemplate my sins against my peers , they still hold me guilty of changing. No apologies or repentance is acceptable or been acceptable to correct the terrors that i inflicted upon the faint of heart in God’s Church . Should i apologize for what the world calls ‘Bi-polar syndrome’ or is Manic Depressive more expressive ? So finding a little help from my ‘friends’ has not been a success . Ahh, how quickly we forget one another when times are prosperous and comfortable. We aren’t as dirty or gritty like our days on the streets of our cities .
This thought as i split for a higher calling . I was your friend , how did i fall so far from a friend’s love or care ? I have committed the unpardonable sin , i let my friends and family down and have received ample punishment for it . I was warned that it was coming when i began to oppose the leadership of the church in Long Branch .
The so-called church , helped to destroy a marriage already struggling with the pressures of work and family . Now the church can only reiterate my failures as a husband father and Christian . I have been refused entry into a church because I am an unworthy penitent and a threat to the well-being of ministers and friends that i have known for decades . In the 90s we were recognized as a fresh awareness of the society around us , we ran ministries to addicts and ex-inmates from prisons , we started Celebrate Recovery and had Bible Studies for Bikers at my home in Long Branch . WTF happened to us ? Everyone just quit caring or started being afraid of everything , truly paranoia struck deep in Long Branch after notable spiritual experiences were being recorded or monitored in the late 90s. The ministers tried to control it , rein it in , not to get to emotional or crazy , the evidences of spiritual growth and maturity ceased as the 21st century dawned and September 11th 2001 marked the populace for nervous reactions and extremist ideologies of war and religious bigotry. We were sobered for a while , then we longed for the security of yesteryear , the economy crashed in 2008 and we elected a black president , we were scared of him we loved him and his family and there were glimmers that maybe we were going to be alright and we would be back to normal or somewhere near there . That has never happened .
A thought : Suppose we have interpreted the Bible wrong and our studies have been hampered by our literalist understanding? What does that mean ? We seem to have missed the essential point of our monotheistic roots . There is but one God and there is His Creation , it is scientific mysterious and evolving and we as humans are evolving consciously , we are growing in our awareness of our environment and the information surrounding us .
The Messianic age is upon us . The anointed Master or Christ is opening doors and windows of our Knowledge and understanding , the resurrection is happening , the masters and saints of old return to have their say again and influene outcomes . Notice the revelations of abuse and abusers in the public eye . The Christ is revealing Himself as Herself and She is being rather demanding about it . Suppose Messiah appeared as a female , then what ? No one would know her other than the One Who sent her , would they , would we ? What kind of Man or Woman could become a real Savior to Mankind in this Age ? Worth Thinking about , No ?
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