The Art of Becoming a Human Being, Listening while Performing

five decades of tuned memories and slackened heartstrings.  

Visions arrived,  I was contemplating my arrival as departure, an eternal infant of divine conception, reception and fabrication in channeled streams of unconscious turbulence , a river’s torrent washing the ways of my flesh .  

inquiries of natural reverential curiosity drives the internal monologue to dialogue with self as soul , this conversation has nearly destroyed me more than once.  as a rebel of unnamed causes within artful intellects I stretched to dress for success and know myself in every circumstance. As a watchman on a wall I observed others and wondered at our systematic beliefs, doubts, lies, faiths and ultimately , One Truth .

 as a young cynic, I was too bitter to clearly enunciate my rage against the system that pressed me into the class of juvenile delinquency.  I was angry about the way life was unfolding , robbery and murder was nothing of what I’d been told on television , it was darker with a curious progression that troubled me.   I was treading rising social waters rather than swimming with the swirling currents of events.   torrential streams lead to cascades and fountains from above and beyond that drew me toward profound discoveries .  

The years of war , addiction and lust grew me up , I lost vain cuteness, likability and personality . I became a neurotic, depressed youth in a philosophically convoluted existentialism, a creator of images , idols , and imaginings within my environs.  I learned to run, dance, equivocate and sing songs to myself,  read between the lines and interpret nature as orderly and sequential from macro to micro occurrence . it  was way over my head and I knew it .      

Becoming an entertainer was easy for me , I dug being liked for what I did, it was always intoxicating , so,  I became drunk on my own high power ego trips.  I was good at what I did, I could make them laugh, cry, sing, dance and even pray .   always knowing the scene and acting accordingly,  there was a method to my madness and I could act with the best of them .  as an inventor I could make stuff up,  invent situations and outcomes , embellish exaggerating details through the formative years .  life was my staging area cast with friends, relatives and eventually  brutal adversaries .  another proscenium  of mind, mirrors  and waving appendages , laughing at jokes and dodging heaved tomatoes while climbing up the downstairs .

it’s only rock & roll but , I like it and Rock & Roll grew into my streetwise companion and paramour since ‘Rock Around the Clock’ in early 1950s . It has been my raucous declaration of independence bumping and grinding in harmonies from this ancient’s gypsy soul.  I brandish a weapon of mass influence with electricity, rhythmic vibrations, ascendant frequencies in a tribal confluence.  The music augmented, then replaced religious faith for a primitive, substantial,  mesmerizing inebriation with sound.  transcendent spirituality in tribal cadence, revealed a deeper path to an intuitive understanding of myself , my soul, my ego and my subconscious to conscience motivations.  I was in the loop of perception and reception that lead to the performance of giving and receiving in the perpetual omnipresence of the glorious mystery of creativity .  I was getting somewhere somehow and still didn’t know how any of it was happening . 

Schools taught of freedom, free will, choices, decisions,  success,  money and all their attendant evils. I was a new born sponge sopping the salty gravy of 60s cultural fluctuations and opportunities .  As a nice Catholic kid , I made my First Communion in 1955 and my Confirmation 1960, I took my father’s name ‘Francis’ and got his whole and formal designation , ‘Peter James Francis Waters , Jr.

I couldn’t understand what in the world I was doing in the places I found myself. Becoming a dreamer with big ideas distracted my own thoughts about the way things are or were.  As a confectionery hybrid I was  growing out of Roman Religious Metaphysics and Polytheistic Revelations. I saw myself in colored relief mosaic cast against Soul, Spirit, Truth and Philosophical Reasoning , and, shit,  I was just a kid .  Mental illness was never a consideration or concern back in those days .  So , I ate , drank and made a lot of merry along the side roads of the mind .

Love has lifted me and dropped me a few times. I still have the scars that the Son didn’t heal , healed and now,  I itch like a bitch . I got married the first time when I was 23 and as green as Sherwood Forest, thick as a brick and as dumb as a box of rocks .  I loved women and they loved me as long as it was convenient. If I had the wherewithal to pay for what we were doing, all was well for a time.  I was fine as long as I didn’t succumb to my feelings about everything .  So I denied myself a real talking to about Life and the means to an End .  I entered the Valley of Denial and caught a boat to the Mainland . The Horizon appeared strangely familiar to this legal alien in a culture of deceit .

Someone yelled , “To thine own self be true .”  I thought that must be fun and revealing too.  How can I apply myself to such wisdom and be true ? I am truly sick of the way of the world in the war of my ways , But , ”cept for the skies there are no fences facing …” so I climb and scramble for scratch with the wings and prayers of strangers and bedfellows, these cats are dead on arrival, the victims of their insatiable curiosity for lusty desires for more of the more.  It’s true , my self told me to sow and sew and so on, it’s like that all the time .

I’m out of my prayer closet , forty plus years listening , I knew something back awhile ago about contact with Divinity above depends on .one’s receptivity , that , I learned would take humility …I was humbled by the Presence of the LORD , here and now .

And Now ?  Well Lord , I am Yours to Command . I am Paying Strict Attention , correct me if i am wrong , ‘let the words of my mouth and the meditations of my heart be pleasing in Your Sight O Lord , my Strength and my Redeemer … if and when You require my mouth for a word with anyone , my voice is Yours , hold my tongue Lord and cause it to speak the wonderful truth that is Your Law .

Here I am Lord, I’ll go , send Me .  Give me the ammo , I’ll take ’em apart with Your Words and theirs .  The Truth will administer the required medicine needed to clean dirty little deeds and bloody footprints so valued among Fools .  I’m Ready LORD .

Psalm 139

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Happy Birthday Petey,

DSCF4177 Happy Birthday Pete !  67 x365 x24 x 1948 orbits , and still spinning tales taller than a trade center in free fall , higher than a rockstar at intermission,  way up and off the wall like a handball . So , they think and so I play the role of Foolish ranting dipshit on crack , ha ha , you wish I was nuts , don’t you ? or Do you wonder about this insanity that I rant about ?  What if I am right about these things I write ?  Remember, I was right about Vietnam , I was right about Nixon , I was right about the 2008 recession , I was right about Bush and his Bushes , damn , I am smart , aren’t I  ? …I know who killed JFK …and you don’t . I don’t guess, I know the whole Crew .

1948 …what happened ? my mother and father’s love came to full term in me , God established me and Israel within days of one another . That means nothing to whom it means Nothing, and to those who see an eternal continuum, it only establishes our trajectory , we are on course to fulfill the Book’s predestination . a day is as a thousand and a thousand is as a day in the place of NoTimeNoSpace.  where we are hip cute sweet sexy strong silly and beautiful , holy compassionate , caring and loving forever ?  Says Who ? When and For God’s sake Where ?  Generation upon generation waits and waits for …what ?  Where is the Promise of His return ? When will He return , c’mon Petey ?

Mine has been an exciting life , unusual and filled with danger and drama and conflicts , yeah , difficult, and worth every pain and tear it took , I wouldn’t change a thing . When I was 15 my president was assassinated on November 22, 1963 , I was in a speech class , my life took a plunge to subterranean frequencies and tides . I found the underground back then as a suburban teen delinquent. That train was heading left and I was grabbing at the handle to go anywhere that the rest of the gang wasn’t going …most likely I’d go my way and they could go anywhere they wanted , I wasn’t going .

I headed out in 1966 for the west and kept going west until West became East …it was a Zen moment .  I got stopped by the Buddha …we talked, I asked the questions , he gave me directions … He said , “..find Jesus and talk this over …”  in July of that year , I became an evangelical Christian and began studying the Bible … welcome Thomas Merton . I devoted the next 40+ years to Jesus Christ . I have all the qualifications on paper , I have all the experience and I made a difference in my neighborhood , I have not one thing that I am ashamed of , so accuse me , please . I could run for any of your dirty little political offices and you couldn’t fling not a single dingleberry my way , ask me if I did this or that , I’ll tell ya my secrets, I did it , I’ll admit it , accuse me , please , lets dance awhile . I wouldn’t take any of your dirty offices in your dirty slimy political cesspool government to sell tickets to a version of Thunderball . I am a Disciple of the Living Savior .

Now there are no axes to grind or machetes to sharpen, My race has been run and  I’m ready for departure, my song is the same, it remains . Do your thing Folks , mark my words , enjoy your life for all it is worth to you , there’s a time and a season for everything , party till the End of stuff , don’t wait , go on vacation and kiss your kids and dogs …for God’s Sake stop and smell His flowers . Got the Time ? if you can still see the flowers, notice them and their perfect beauty , they smell good and refreshing, better than Napalm and false victories . Happy Birthday from all my friends that got shot to shit on the delta , savanna , roadways ,jungles , skies and seas . Thanks Fellas and gals .

Happy Birthday Petey ! what a head ! too much of nothing will drive a man insane and look for another brain . I’m that miner for the hearts of gold , it’s hard and dangerous work but well worth it , I have no complaints . This is my school of the Fine Arts of Living , Adapting,and Surviving, for Identifying the Social Moral Ethical and Economic Holocausts in Progress.

Happy Birth Days Pete , can we do it Again ? … It Repeats .  So lets all get Born Again , we’ll get better service next time. Thank you for my Birth Days Up Side Down Cake . It’s been an unexpected pleasure to grow this old and watch the river flow, from my bank of sand …down into my easy chair , shoot, I ain’t goin’ anywhere …where’s that Joint ?

Back on my Tracks

Been away , been sick , been real tired , eating out of dumpsters with thugs and thieves , been homeless, beat up and attacked by murderers , been to church , been down to the river , and had a girl rape me and threaten me … “hunted like a crocodile, ravaged in the corn , I offered up my innocence , got repaid with Scorn …” Dylan …this is not about them , tis is not about you and how you like me , people and situations … I am guilty ! I am profane , I am not nice and I care nothing for your lousy approval or promotions , No I am not bitter and cynical , I am sick of eating out of your hands and being satisfied that You (of all the peoples in this world) will pat me on my head get your rocks off on me and then urinate your sanctimonious piss on me …Ha Ha ha !  Piss up a rope and then use it for a decoration in your wardrobe of tasteless useless information , sell it to a pauper for your next meal , No , I never unloaded on you and your ilk , things have changed , and please read between my lines , see if there is another message in here for you ….yes , my love , you know who you are …all of you , I include my own relatives , want to throw garbage ? you ain’t seen a shit storm , yet, I warned y’all …now you deal with it …ya wanna be free in your country , you think you are free ? and thats all there is to it ? Guess again , we are all goin down in the Flood, so check the lifeboats you will need them .

I received your message about your broken doorknobs and window latches , then you ask how I’m doing …was that some kind of joke ?

Interview with a spirit

we are honored to have the spirit manifesting with us at present in Colombia , yes this is a Ghost , it is unclear whether this ghost this filmy stuff is Real…SO , we let the Ghost Speak after ab-sense from a body and being present with God many moments from Now …please understand that the Spirit speaks from an Eternal Perspective , time appears and morphs into images and ideas rather than a temporal sedentary thing , that, many think of as Life and Life Only ,the Spirit Sees and speaks with an OTHERS VOICE ERGO , the Holy Spirit Speaks (that which follows is not a joke or a work of fantasy and fiction, this is the Voice from Beyond ‘the grave ‘ and  ‘death’) : Greetings . IAM is a Title , and that is Who , IAM , you cannot annoint Me , you cannot see Me , you can’t Name Me , you don’t understand Me , My Language or My Imaginings/Image in Nations / IAM is Incomprehensible , you do know What IAM looks like , because you see Me everyday and can’t see ME in front of you that is the point and the purpose , You Don’t Know Me. IAM is not Religious  , IAM is Spirit , that is , purely ethereal stuff, I encircle you like a dust storm , I torment you and AM the Tormenta , the storm that you Fear . IAM is Your GOD , SO , you should be Afraid , that would BEbe and is Normal to be afraid when IAM stands on your Grave .

SO …no names . I will manifest in Images that you are familiar with, I will evoke feelings in you and I will make you take a side , that is what I do and how I manifest to you , IAM shows you ….YOU. IAM is not PeterWaters/PeteJames/ShimonJames/Jacobs/ PJ Cohen /Bob Zimmerman, Mick Jagger or some other Fag … or some a name on a credit application uh / IAMISRAHEL/JAH/JeYoHah Vah/The Good / they call me GOD …IAM is but The VOICE of THE WORD. IAM is Singing, dancing, rejoicing, celebrating, twirling, spinning as the Galazies of His Creation/Her Creation / Its Creation … IAM is Jesus of Nazareth and Muhammed of the Desert , IAM is Krishna and Zoroaster, Mahavira and AmenRah , IAM is ETERNAL ,INFINITE and Beyond this realm , humanity is arrogant and full of itself to think so highly of itself , teh Lawyers of the Sannhedrin warned of This …Paul Knew and wrote of it in Many Words ‘incomprehensible ‘ …Romans 7 …the contradictions the inconsistencies are seen in quantummechanics/physics, astrophysics and astronomy … Contra-Dictating Ideas about Existence , your imagined existence , you assume many things that you do not know …you do not know these things because it has not been given to you to Know or Understand …WHY ?  Guessing is an Egyptian ideology connected to eons of surmising probabilities and an awareness of the Fatal Existence, the inscrutable Fortunes of Peoples and Persons , is this Luck ? is this Magic ? why are you left with questions of your own Existence , is this a Dream ?

IAM will not answer these searching questions for you , but , these questions must be asked and a dialogue requires continuation negotiation and co-operation with all peoples … in order for your race to survive . Examine yourself , See if you are walking In The Way , Standing in the Way or Sleeping in The Way … You will Examine your self and you will discover where your self actually is ………IN The Way , Jesus said : Do it Like Me ! IAM is the WAY , IAM is the TRuth and IAM is LIFE , let them Kill me , torture me and lie about me , defame me , gossip and make shit UP about Me , to fill their own toilets and cesspools / the repository of used nutrients discarded to create room for growth and regeneration … humans become waste products, shit, dirt and compost …a nessesary process of Nature/EloHim/God/ElShaddai…” a time for everything”  examine yourself Human , you have been examined , you have been searched , frisked , stopped in your tracks, and , Incarcerated on your tiny green/blue planet/home / kitchen and bedroom to guess and bet on your Future …all toward your own demise. The Name Buddha means , The Awakened One, Why ? What was he Awake to , that others were not ? thename JESUS means , God is the Savior , not i’m god , Jesus is The Messenger as is Muhammed and they are but Time Keepers ., these are movie images from inside of You , you don’t know the Christ , otherwise you wouldn’t kill the prophets and messengers sent to you . they all say the exact same thing…review and compare words and phrases and situations and changes and coincidences for what they Actually are … messages . Question : are you awake or are you still sleeping ?San Pablo says : Awake you sleepers, open the eyes that God put in the Rosh Hasshannah with your Nose and Triste Taste Buds , is that Bodies a burning in Gehenna ? where is JeruShalom when ya need Her ? Who is That ?  …. Guess .

I AM Authored Death .  You have a lot of Images of Death , what do you see in the Images of Death ? does Death bring fear into your life ? are you afraid to die ? IAM Authorizesand Approves of all Death’s Harvest … man , you are going to Die … and What ? you didn’t know ?  … Guess. Who is at that Door ? Who is That , that is Knocking on Your Door… Imagine opening the door and Lo and Behold its Me … what will you ask me ?  Me . Who ?

Fear Me. I will Kill You and make you return to your Beginnings /you will be returned to ashes, dust, water, mud, slime and vegetation, IAM isgiven as It is and will Always and in every Way BE in and PART of His  Creation, whois wasting my Fathers Creation ? Yes, GOD is PURE SPIRIT , we come from Him , and HE is BI-Sexual … GOD is Female , that female soul absorbs the baby boy and receives it within her , She becomes a Male cloaked in Anger with her own female counterpart, Her Self … the eternal conflict of the sexes is a clash of ideations of what’s Real and what is Not … Synthetic Regeneration between 2 entities / creations … and what come out ? another one of them , those uh … things , unsure of what to call it … its a human , you moron ! Its your Father and Mother’s child , its YOU .

IAM is Spirit . Any that worship IAM must be in the Spirit of IAM, and Truth is Present , they that worship in Spirit and Truth will Know …the Spirit, the Meaning of Life , and the Way home … you wonder why you’ve been born at such a time as this and wish things were not like they are now … Why ?  What is your Memory ? What do you think you don’t remember ?  NOTHING , your memory is intact , but you will make a trip backwards and make some decisions based on your experience in your moments of conscious existence … this will introduce you to who you have been repeatedly until this POINT of the Sword touches your Heart

IAM is Che, Hitler, Stalin, Kennedys, … IAM is MLKing ,Malcolm X,MedgarEvers,Osamabin Laden, Ted Bundy and Jeffery Dahmer is everyone … vicious and duplicitous , hateful and murderous in our own shadows . Clamped to a higher plateau you can see the murder, lies and plunder , you can hear it in the air as the Prince Reveals it .

IAM is Here , the God of ISRAEL is Here , the messengers are here , the resurrection of the Dead has taken Place , on Earth this is an unusual scary prospect , and within the environment of our cosmos that we are spinning in , this is Normalizing Vibratory corrections within you and your peers , exactly as the undulations of our discus is being Hurled through Space. thisis religious and scientific , this is spiritual and verifiable , this a problem for everyone to scratch themselves over … we will reveal the CURE for disease … huh ?  Cancer, AIDS, HIV , HepC , Heart Disease and all Addictions …f Death

IAM is theGreatest Physician and has determined to reveal this to Humanity …the Humanity that is His Creation that does not or has not decided in His Existence … thats funny ,  this is how you know for sure that Pete Waters could never fill God’s Sandals    or lie or screw his kids , hurt , threaten or violate women … he is a possession … BY ?  I will clear this up for you and this congregation on the New Jersey Shores… we are sent …allof us … we are not humans , we are messengers /angels / gypsies /wanderers and outlaws , we just keep moving and sliding and floating through your scene… we are strange and give people the creeps , we will make your hair stand on end and makeyou feel the cold of death …we know and love the Angel of Death , he is One with Us .

Thanks for letting me share this with you . Peace .

End of interview for 3/10/14 /100 years post WWI .

This is a Statement . I expected a question and answer opportunity … the Spirit is Present and will return in a Voice again .

 

you stoked my flame

harsh and obscene , wet and wild , hot and bothered, smooth as glass,  you blew on coals of my well-done heart, in the heart of darkness, in the belly of your sweaty beast and the clammy hands   a’ wringing , a hoarse voice singing , let me be un-clinging to your chain a’bringing , in your bed , in the wood shed where you store me, let me love you till I am finally perfectly mortally Dead … againImage   

Jorge Mario Osorno , my Son

Jorge Mario Osorno , my Son

young while here, old while he is away , all business and technology , knowing the Latest and swearing by the greatest … and I don’t ask Why , and its OK , now , Mami is Fine and so are your Kids I don’t miss you, I’m use to the old / new non-look of the happily and deadly departed , I’m grateful for the exit that you took , very clean , no blood or fluids allover the place … but , Nice Touch in front of the flag in the Toyota , you understood a clean class exit and you nailed it … sure its a shock to find a dead kid, son, brother, uncle, Daddy/Papi in the garage but at least you didn’t hang your bad self and we didn’t have to cut you down … the cops got your gun , Santa died with you . I love you Koky .